![]() My final take on Crucial Conversations: it's a breezy book that will at best make it clear that it's possible to communicate effectively and to change the world by talking. ![]() It's not the whole story but it gets you more than halfway to learning to notice pathological patterns of communication. Transactional analysis is a fake framework in psychology it's wrong in some important ways but extremely useful for getting a baseline understanding of why people do the things they do in social interactions. Game theory you probably know or are at least aware of. If you just want the theory that powers the ideas in all these books, I think you can learn it from studying two things: game theory and transactional analysis. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher and William Uryįor myself, I think the one I found most useful among all of these was How to Talk So Kids Will Listen.bonus "sequel" book: I'm OK – You're OK by Thomas Anthony Harris.Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric Berne.How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.Here's some other books in this space you might consider for your ~two (there are many more): I think I feel pretty confident in saying that you only need to read approximately two books about having conversations and negotiating to learn all the basics (you'll need a lot of experience to get good at putting the ideas into practice, though). I'd already gotten all the big ideas in it from other books. Personally, reading this book was a waste of my time. If you've tried at all I think you'll be left wondering when the book will go deeper. ![]() The techniques they offer are shallow, though, so they're only likely to be helpful if you've never made a serious attempt at communicating or negotiating effectively. If you don't know how to do those things, reading this book might help you, as the authors provide some techniques. Once you have created safety, be honest and straightforward. Establish safety by listening, empathizing, and suppressing emotional reactions that would make others feel unsafe. I can summarize the whole book for you in roughly the space of a tweet:ĭifficult conversations require safety. I just finished reading Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler. ![]()
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